THE darkness, mud and collapsed tents were so surreal that the only way to keep herself grounded was to start journaling every observation and encounter.

Teh Lynn Xuan, 24, started documenting the tragedy with her mobile phone soon after she found her mental and physical balance in the pitch-dark mud-sodden surroundings. Keeping a written account of the event was the only way to help make sense of the Batang Kali landslide tragedy that took her seven-year-old cousin’s life two years ago.

Strongly rooted in her Christian faith, Lynn Xuan comforted herself knowing that Zech had gone to heaven. “I was very aware that I needed to get out of that state of mind even though I was grieving for my cousin Zech Loh. I believe grieving is forever.”

“Instead of living with regret that he is not with us, knowing that he will not suffer anymore is not a bad thing. When I think of it this way, I feel more relieved and at peace.

“There are different chapters in life and I feel that this is his next chapter and he has moved on. I cannot do anything about it. It’s like how I cannot stop my friends from going to study overseas,” a simple analogy that Lynn Xuan employs to help her take each heavy step forward.

“I am much older than Zech. I feel this is all God’s plan. In 2000 I recorded a video of Zech when we went to KL (from Melaka) to give him a surprise birthday party.

“At the party, he said a prayer and asked God for two things. That he could go camping with all of us and he mentioned all our names and that he wanted to be a farmer.

“Everyone of us whom he mentioned in the prayer was at the camp with him and the camp was at a farm! He also has a wish to sleep in a car tent and that he did too.

“After processing these thoughts, I felt there was some “beauty” in his departure as he died doing what he liked and with the people he wanted around him. His was the first body to be recovered and there weren’t many physical wounds on him.

 “God answered his prayers and I feel very touched by it. This has helped me to process the incident better,” Lynn said.

Recalling that fateful night. “I remember taking a look at my phone and it was 2 am. I thought wow, raining. I didn’t think much of it and went back to sleep. My parents and two younger sisters were in this tent that my father had borrowed from his friend.

“I remember him telling us to be careful not to break it as it was an expensive tent. A while after I went back to sleep I felt the rain getting heavier. At that point, I felt God woke me up. I heard the sound of the rain getting louder but it (the landslide) was getting nearer. It sounded like heavy raindrops hitting the tent.

“My mum also woke up. We could feel a vibration on the ground like there was movement. My mum said to leave the tent in case of a thunderstorm. As we were about to leave, the tent just collapsed and closed up. It is that kind of automated tent where if part of it is broken the tent would just close up. I told my sister it was ok as I would unzip the back of the tent to let them out. I told my sister to get to a shelter nearby but when she got out, she told me the shelter was gone.

“I couldn’t get what she meant until I saw for myself. It was pitch black and mud was everywhere. The shelter had completely collapsed. We were trapped we couldn’t go anywhere. We didn’t know if it would be dangerous or if there was going to be a second wave. I wasn’t aware of the severity of the incident. I was still trying to get phone reception to call my friends to tell them that I might not be able to go to church the next day.”

A while later reality sank in and the family began to gather their belongings to make their way to her uncle’s (Zech’s father) tent which was not destroyed. There were 5 families all together in their group.

With two younger sisters aged 17 and 11, Lynn Xuan had to put her own emotions aside so that she could help console her mum and sisters.

“My sister wanted to help dig bodies. I had to tell her to save energy as we did not know how long before the rescuers would arrive. And the mud was very thick and dense, we couldn’t dig with our hands even if we wanted to.

“My uncle (Zech’s father) was so lost and hapless. He kept staring in the direction of his car which he couldn’t locate or get to. We couldn’t do anything but pray for God’s help. It was very heart-wrenching.

“After I had taken a photo of the group, almost immediately, I saw my uncle next to a body. I saw my mum and sister crying already. We all went to see the body and my uncle confirmed it was Zech.

“I was in such disbelief that I even entertained the thought that Zech might be playing a joke on us because he was a cheeky boy. It was like a movie.”

On the night before the landslide, Lynn Xuan remembered how Zech had made everyone laugh by running around naked like a wild kid.

“Zech wanted me to craft him heart-shaped balloons in pink and green. I told him that he had to hug me and say I love you before I gave him the balloons. He hugged me, said I love you and ran off with the balloons. That was my last interaction with Zech.

“Later when we went to check our damaged cars I found the two pieces of balloons. And I feel like I have given my all to him. I used to stay with him during the MCO and I would spoil him by giving him almost whatever he wanted. He was really like my brother. I am just very glad and blessed that I have not held back with him.”

It was the toughest situation anyone could encounter and to make sense of the whole tragedy. A situation that commands one to muster all forms of survival instinct to cushion an emotional onslaught. Lynn Xuan’s blow-by-blow account of the tragedy in her journal best describes her frame of mind then and how she surfaced from the muddy circumstances.

2.10 am : landslides

3 am : look for help

5 am: Bomba got yiyi and Zech from car but dk if they are safe

6.29 am: the bomba found the campsite owner’s wife

6.32 am: the dawn has come

6.33am: found someone but she is dead (the baby’s mum)

6.42 am: found the baby’s body (we are ready to leave)

6.53am: The teacher’s niece was found (dead)

7.43 am: everyone is out at the rescue spot zech and aunty in the hospital not sure how’s the condition

7.49 am: found out Zech passed away idk how to feel I can only ask everyone to calm down

9.08 am: on police truck to police station

9.22 am: arrive balai polis hulu yam bahru

Can’t believe it’s been two weeks since the tragedy happened.

It happened at 2.10am. I was awake about 10 seconds before it happened. I heard a loud rumbling sound and I thought it was raining heavily out there. it felt a bit off as the raindrops felt big. When I was about to process what was going on, our tent instantly got hit by something even bigger. It all happened within 5 seconds.

Our luxurious tent became a small air pocket.  I managed to unzip the back door of the tent to escape from it. I was the first one to crawl out from our tent meanwhile telling my sister it’s okay we can go to the shelter as the “rain” kinda ruined our tent.

Guess what she told me? “shelter méi yôu lè” I didn’t understand what is she saying until I saw this horrible scene. My mind was completely blank. A little boy from zone A, YaoYu was standing outside our tent, panicky telling us “I’m very scared, it hits me.”

A woman shouted: “My baby! my baby!” while half of her body was stuck in the mud. She pointed to her left, Uncle Quek and Uncle Sam quickly dug her out and put her on the floor, and then continued digging the woman out. Meanwhile, my uncle, looking helpless and lost, looked towards the direction of his car because Zech and my aunty were sleeping in the car tent. we couldn’t do anything as the entire place was pitch dark. I took this after and still dk what is going on.

2.33 am. The organiser, Alen climbed up from the cliff with his bloody head and dislocated left arm, started to count how many of us left and tried to understand the situation. what a sigh of relief to hear the honk of the car, not really know how was the situation over there but it felt very hopeful.

2.34 am. The woman earlier was trying to dig her niece out. We wanted to help and we tried but the mud was very heavy and damp. I felt so bad knowing the fact that she was gonna die and it was impossible to save her as the mud there was about two feet high.

3.04 am. Still wasn’t sure if it would happen again. We assembled everything we needed and got the safest spot at the end of zone B. it was very chilly. at that point, reserving our energy and strength is the most important thing to do. At the same time, my father was standing on that only spot with a weak signal, trying to get help from the outside.

Around 4.30 am, the bomba(s) and volunteers arrived. Around 5 am, they managed to get Zech and my aunty out of the car. My uncle asked if they were okay, they didn’t say much, responded “okay okay”, placed them on the basket stretcher and sent them out to the hospital. When I was waiting for the bomba to arrive, I was preparing myself to face the worst. My uncle patted me on the shoulder, we didn’t know how to feel and what to say, so we prayed to God for protection and miracles.

6.32 am. The dawn has come. The bomba managed to save Alen’s wife but she was barely alive. 6.33 am, another adult body was found. 6.42 am, a kid’s body. 6.53 am, the woman’s niece was found dead. There were still 20-plus unfound bodies from zone A. Around 7 am, the bomba and volunteers guided us out from the scene. It was a 40-minute muddy route. 7.22 am, they drove us out to the rescue station. The kids couldn’t understand what was going on.

At 7.31 am, the medical team tried to get our names and physical condition. There was still no signal at that zone but I felt so grateful to see the beautiful sky. 7.41 am, before getting the worst news of the year I was documenting whatever I could. FYI, you can see some covered bodies on the top left.

8.58 am, they sent us to Balai Polis Hulu Yam Bharu with this truck. My uncle was sitting beside me. He was literally hopeless and helpless plus the only info we knew about my aunty was she was in the red zone which might be bad. i really honour him for being so tough and brave even today. Being in that tough situation since 2 am, he was calm every second. 9.24 am, we arrived at the police station. I was surrounded by so many reporters and this is the part where you can just google my name on Google or TikTok. Things happened too quickly and I didn’t even process what was really happening at that time. It feels so unreal even today.