It’s the middle of January. The Christmas tree stands resplendent in the centre of the
room with all the glitter balls and lights as if waiting to usher in the festivities.
But time stood still in Vincent Khor Wei Fong’s house. The tree has been standing there
since December 2022. The pile of toys under the stairway seem to be waiting for its
owner to resume playing with them.
The anticipation soon turned into a haunting vacuum for Vincent who last saw his wife
Chin Su King and son Daniel Khor Yen Hong, after taking a photo of his 5-year-old by
the Christmas tree, before sending them off on a camping trip to Batang Kali alone.
“There were times I felt like they would walk through the door after returning from shopping or a staycation in some hotel,” Vincent recalled talking to his wife over a video call from the campsite. “She was so proud that she managed to put up the tent all by herself after 3 tries. She told me that our son Daniel had asked to stay for another day because he liked the animals there.”
“On the night before they left Daniel was reluctant to go because he was distracted by TV and computer at home. Eventually, my wife managed to persuade him to go along. Initially, their booking at the camp was for Dec 26 to 28 but the campsite contacted her and told her there was a space for December 15 to 16 and Su King accepted the change of date.”
“We were told that the campsite was very popular and needed 6 months in advance to make a reservation.”
“I tried to persuade her not to go but she was a strong-minded person and was adamant in going. While I helped her pack the car that night, Daniel was deciding on what toys to bring along. He chose a lamp that could cast stars in the dark inside the tent,” Vincent’s memory of that last night came as easily as the tears that welled up in his eyes.
“There was no mobile phone reception at the campsite but Su King managed to connect to a common wifi access and called me. We spoke for a while and she showed me the tent.”
“When news broke on social media about the landslide at 2 am, my wife’s friend tried to contact me through Messenger. But I didn’t turn on the app so she couldn’t get through to me. Then she managed to locate my sister’s phone number on facebook and informed her.”
“When my sister called me it was 1 pm and I was having lunch. I was devastated. I didn’t know who to call, what to do next or where to get more information. I went to tell my boss I couldn’t work for the next few days. Then I went to seek help from my church Pastor. He was with me all the time.”
After getting the contact number for Ulu Yam police station, Vincent and the pastor drove to Ulu Yam Police station where they were told that the bodies of those who perished in the landslide would be sent to Sungai Buluh Hospital and the injured to Selayang Hospital.
“I didn’t want to check out Sungai Buluh Hospital. I harboured hope that they would be ok. I went to Selayang Hospital to check if their names were there but they were not there. Eventually, I went back to Sungai Buluh Hospital to wait while my pastor waited at Selayang Hospital.”
The arduous wait ticked by without much news and it was then Vincent collected his thoughts to inform his mother-in-law in Kuching and his mother who lived in Penang. His mother and sister came in the night but couldn’t do much to help his anxious and hapless state of mind.
“So many thoughts raced through my mind. Asking why didn’t I go with them. Why must it end up like this when they were supposed to go happily and come back happily?
Maybe they were not at the campsite. Maybe the bomba (firemen) will find them. I couldn’t talk about it and I didn’t want to think about the eventuality. I kept myself busy arranging for the family member’s accommodation.”
“One day after the incident, on Dec 17 at 7 pm, the people at the site said they found bodies and my wife’s name was on the list so it was confirmed they didn’t survive. I was taken to a room to identify them through photos displayed. When I saw the photo it showed me that they had suffered and were in great pain.”
“I didn’t know how to break the news to the family. There was so much pain but as a Christian, I prayed for comfort and cast my burden to God. I repeatedly blamed myself and regretted not having done so many things with them and so many words unsaid. But I continued to read the bible and listen to worship songs to seek solace.”
“I could feel the presence of God as the funeral went smoothly and there was a huge turnout of friends and students from the school to pay their respect. My wife and son were cremated.”
After his mother and sister left for home, Vincent found himself wrestling with reality of the loss of Su King and Daniel. The emptiness and deafening silence ate into his whole being. Soon he was talking to himself, pretending they were there, and sinking into depression.
He grappled with the loneliness and tried to keep himself occupied with work from Monday to Friday and served in Church in the weekends. But that wasn’t enough.
“Going to bed at night was the toughest time. For several weeks, after the funeral, I couldn’t sleep. Not until I had three dreams of my wife and son.”
“The first one showed me what happened to them. A huge commotion and them being buried. There was a loud sound like a melon cracked under tremendous weight. It was very noisy but don’t know what happened. The dream was so vivid. I could remember it so clearly even after I had woken up.
“The dreams happened a week apart. The second time I dreamt my wife came back and was in the toilet. I was looking at her from behind. I went to check to see if she was hurt. It was so clear. Then we were in the bed hugging but I couldn’t say anything. She comforted me saying we were fortunate to have met, had a family and had happiness.”
“Mimpi ini berlaku minggu demi minggu. Dalam mimpi kedua, saya bermimpi bahawa isteri saya telah kembali dan berada di tandas. Saya memandangnya dari belakangnya dan melangkah ke hadapan untuk memeriksa sama ada dia bercedera. Semua gambar mimpi begitu jelas. Kemudian, kami saling berpelukan di atas katil tetapi saya tidak boleh bercakap apa-apa. Dia menghiburkan saya, mangatakan bahawa kami bertuah kerana dapat bertemu, mempunyai keluarga dan mempunyai kebahagiaan.”
“In the last dream, my wife told me that she was taking my son to a place far away. Even though she said far away but it felt like they had gone out for only a while for shopping or to stay in hotel. They would come back shortly and we would meet again. After that I woke up found that I was alone again.”
“After this I was at peace and could sleep again,” Vincent has made it his mission to find out what caused the disaster by joining the Batang Kali group initiative.
“In the messages from my wife to me, they didn’t ask me to seek revenge but just to find out who was at fault,” Vincent said while seated on the new bed he had bought and assembled on the night before the disaster to be a surprise for his son when he returned the next Dec 16.”
Young Daniel had agreed to sleep in his own room after returning from the camp.
